Crucial Conversations By K. Patterson Reviews
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Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High (Paperback)
by Kerry Patterson (Author), Joseph Grenny (Author), Ron McMillan (Author), Al Switzler (Author), Stephen R. Covey (Author)
Textbook Details
* Paperback: 256 pages
* Publisher: McGraw-Hill; 1 edition (June 18, 2002)
* Language: English
* ISBN-10: 0071401946
* ISBN-13: 978-0071401944
* Dimensions: 9 x 6.1 x 0.7 inches
* Shipping Weight: 13.4 ounces
* Rating: 
Textbook Description
Foreword by Stephen R. Covey, Author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
A PAPERBACK ORIGINAL
“Most books make promises. This one delivers. These skills have not only helped us to change the culture of our company, but have also generated new techniques for working together in ways that enabled us to win the largest contract in our industry’s history.”–Dain M. Hancock, President, Lockheed Martin Aeronautics
A powerful, seven-step approach to handling difficult conversations with confidence and skill.
“Crucial” conversations are interpersonal exchanges at work or at home that we dread having but know we cannot avoid. How do you say what needs to be said while avoiding an argument with a boss, child, or relationship partner? Crucial Conversations offers readers a proven seven-point strategy for achieving their goals in all those emotionally, psychologically, or legally charged situations that can arise in their professional and personal lives. Based on the authors’ highly popular DialogueSmart training seminars, the techniques are geared toward getting people to lower their defenses, creating mutual respect and understanding, increasing emotional safety, and encouraging freedom of expression. Among other things, readers also learn about the four main factors that characterize crucial conversations, and they get a powerful six-minute mastery technique that prepares them to work through any highimpact situation with confidence.
Crucial Conversations Review
Wanna argue? Nope. Then you need Kerry Patterson and his co-writers, who describe techniques for effective negotiation and conflict resolution in the context of important, potentially life-changing conversations. Examples include talking yourself into a promotion, bringing up important information at meetings and working out problems with your spouse. Some tips will sound familiar, such as knowing what you really want and being open to alternatives. However, the book also highlights some themes that are often forgotten in negotiations, such as making it safe for others to express their true feelings and desires. The authors explain how to avoid getting forced into false either-or choices and tell you how to remain alert for unstated alternatives or possibilities. This lively book includes many examples drawn from business and personal relationships. We recommend it in particular to those are new to negotiations and conflict resolution, though it teaches solid skills that any manager – or any marriage partner, for that matter – could benefit from mastering.
As the program manager of a cross-functional product development team, I daily arbitrate or engage in emotionally charged crucial conversations. The principles in this book enable me to identify these crucial situations, diffuse tension, draw out meaning from each of the parties, and ultimately reach the best action plan possible. Most importantly, since I started using the principles in this book, mutual respect and unity on my team has increased dramatically–positional debate and argument is almost non-existent. Reading this book also helped me change my perspective of crucial conversations. Instead of fearing and avoiding them, I now recognize them as incredible opportunities for me to lead.
My recurring thought as I read this book was that these are “fundamental truths”. The authors use accessible writing with minimal jargon and no word invention. Additionally, they reinforce their theories with an abundance of applicable technique. These are not trendy gimmicks that manipulate people into agreeing with you. Rather, the authors teach fundamentally sound communication skills that enable the reader to fully understand others and then to explain their own perspective in a respectful, non-confrontational way. The principles taught in this book are universally applicable. Not only have I used them in business, but they also help me strengthen my communication with family. Likewise, I know I will use these skills in the team oriented Stanford MBA program that I will begin this fall.
Crucial Conversations offers a well organized approach to examining those very select conversations that we all have where the stakes are high, there’s a difference of opinion and there is an emotional investment. How these conversations are handled truly separates the good from the best. A friend of mine, who read this material revealed to me that they wished that they had understood (in the early years of marriage) that “it is possible to be both honest and kind”. My friend believed that this would have potentially saved the relationship with their spouse.
These are the conversation in which we find ourselves responding in the grip of our style under stress, inevitably behaving in ways that lead us farther and farther away from our deepest-held objectives. The power of recalling what we really want in a crucial conversation that has moved toward silence (withdrawing, attacking, avoiding) or violence (labeling, contolling, attacking)offers transforming potential for sharing tough content honestly and respectfully.
The format of this book offers the reader a nicely structured set of 7 principles, associated skills and easy to use key questions and anecdotal examples for practical application. All together Crucial Conversations has all the makings of a communication bible for those interested in expanding their influence, leveraging the wisdom of a group and enriching their relationships.
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Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High (Kindle Edition)
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